It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This toilet bowl is my home.
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