none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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