Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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