The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
