Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
