um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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