it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
