Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
