Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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