all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
