i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
