I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
