Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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