Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
