i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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