I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Someone shit on the floor
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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