Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i think i just lost a toe
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
