just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
