not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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