somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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