I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The adults are the big ones right?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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