She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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