i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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