Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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