My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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