I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
tell me about the eggs
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