May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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