omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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