i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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