Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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