I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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