Jerry, you need to find god
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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