Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
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just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
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Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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