i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
