Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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