Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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