Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
