is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
