My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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