i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize