uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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