Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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