if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
