he shaved USA in his pubs
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
