That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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