Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now

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  (248): I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now http://tfl.nu/naz7
  Replies (3) Good night (3096) Bad night (743)
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  (002): View more from

  508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.

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  (002) 508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway. http://tfl.nu/mu6c
  Replies (7) Good night (654) Bad night (705)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.

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  (215): we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/zo0y
  Replies (17) Good night (7310) Bad night (1073)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover

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  (314): rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover http://tfl.nu/mxp0
  Replies (15) Good night (5152) Bad night (1086)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

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  (604): Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends. http://tfl.nu/9u2p
  Replies (9) Good night (2605) Bad night (911)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking

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  (443): Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking http://tfl.nu/hur0
  Replies (6) Good night (701) Bad night (1566)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.

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  (815): Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time. http://tfl.nu/q2s4
  Replies (27) Good night (3984) Bad night (713)
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  (626): View more from California

  The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking

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  (626): The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking http://tfl.nu/7x03
  Replies (12) Good night (1446) Bad night (579)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?

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  (843): They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER? http://tfl.nu/zyzi
  Replies (2) Good night (858) Bad night (443)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.

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  (317): I fell into his fridge. I want to leave. http://tfl.nu/ilpg
  Replies (2) Good night (447) Bad night (379)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick

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  (336): At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick http://tfl.nu/8ojw
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (265)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.

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  (720): His dick is so big it could be an arm rest. http://tfl.nu/aqho
  Replies (2) Good night (901) Bad night (246)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?

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  (206): She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What? http://tfl.nu/e1z9
  Replies (0) Good night (465) Bad night (283)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.

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  (801): Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done. http://tfl.nu/ys5o
  Replies (3) Good night (444) Bad night (263)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole

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  (913): Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole http://tfl.nu/jf5e
  Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (531)

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