i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
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and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
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Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine