sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.