I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.