Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

(501): View more from Arkansas

3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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(214): Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life (501): 3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/1c46

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(949): View more from California

you made cement angels. it was a great sight.

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(949): you made cement angels. it was a great sight. http://tfl.nu/etc6

Replies (18) Good night (6081) Bad night (915)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx

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(410): I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx http://tfl.nu/s1q1

Replies (30) Good night (2655) Bad night (4148)
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(847): View more from Illinois

looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!

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(847): looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again! http://tfl.nu/gkwb

Replies (1) Good night (1754) Bad night (704)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.

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(215): It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college. http://tfl.nu/yb1z

Replies (9) Good night (2487) Bad night (747)
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(845): View more from New York

No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown

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(845): No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown http://tfl.nu/5hg1

Replies (6) Good night (2174) Bad night (1152)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."

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(215): What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller." http://tfl.nu/x4em

Replies (21) Good night (3015) Bad night (1018)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead

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(630): I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead http://tfl.nu/lnf3

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(847): View more from Illinois

When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.

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(847): When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody. http://tfl.nu/5cds

Replies (3) Good night (1875) Bad night (622)
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(360): View more from Washington

You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.

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(360): You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list. http://tfl.nu/z64l

Replies (8) Good night (1627) Bad night (610)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.

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(706): I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever. http://tfl.nu/oprl

Replies (4) Good night (1420) Bad night (426)
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(636): View more from Missouri

2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?

(314): View more from Missouri

Please tell me those aren't related.

(636): View more from Missouri

I made rice.

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(636): 2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap? (314): Please tell me those aren't related. (636): I made rice. http://tfl.nu/b642

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?

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(603): I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night? http://tfl.nu/pz1o

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(330): View more from Ohio

I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.

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(330): I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake. http://tfl.nu/lvqj

Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (277)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight

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(252): I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight http://tfl.nu/i3ic

Replies (0) Good night (217) Bad night (458)

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