Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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  (503): Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes? http://tfl.nu/o6hc
  Replies (7) Good night (2908) Bad night (508)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line

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  (519): who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line http://tfl.nu/dt51
  Replies (19) Good night (4130) Bad night (606)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Your vagain smells worse when im sober.

  (903): View more from Texas

  sorry, worng number

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  (903): Your vagain smells worse when im sober. (903): sorry, worng number http://tfl.nu/xznv
  Replies (20) Good night (700) Bad night (4097)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  What's this douchebags name?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Rob...

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  (908): He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!" (973): What's this douchebags name? (908): Rob... http://tfl.nu/raez
  Replies (67) Good night (7671) Bad night (3787)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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  (901): He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/xizg
  Replies (12) Good night (725) Bad night (6247)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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  (317): well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night http://tfl.nu/od6j
  Replies (19) Good night (1540) Bad night (6241)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me

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  (215): i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me http://tfl.nu/j6i2
  Replies (13) Good night (1320) Bad night (3791)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

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  (646): I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot. http://tfl.nu/r2lr
  Replies (17) Good night (6330) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.

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  (613): We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed. http://tfl.nu/xcuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2772) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up

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  (859): Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up http://tfl.nu/e5lq
  Replies (10) Good night (669) Bad night (1622)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?

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  (973): She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike? http://tfl.nu/jtxw
  Replies (10) Good night (3256) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (2823) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.

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  (563): I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers. http://tfl.nu/w57w
  Replies (7) Good night (1981) Bad night (504)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.

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  (773): my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka. http://tfl.nu/3a5u
  Replies (0) Good night (513) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Regret, thy taste is box wine.

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  (317): Regret, thy taste is box wine. http://tfl.nu/587h
  Replies (1) Good night (495) Bad night (236)

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