I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
