I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
