Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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