Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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