If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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