Me. At least after what I've been through.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
