he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
