My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
