New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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