The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Watching her eat just hurts me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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