I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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