I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
