i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
