Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
