sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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