remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
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