last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
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I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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