i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
