This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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