Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
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she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
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Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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