mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
