I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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