my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Less talking, more tequila
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
